We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
