Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
