Having a random hookup so left but love u
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
