I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
