he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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