Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
