i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
