He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize