I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
