There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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