That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
