remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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