last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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