I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
