I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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