I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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