I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
