Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
