She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
PANTIES FOUND
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