guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
you inspire me to be a worse person
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
