this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize