That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
