using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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