Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
and she was petting her beer can
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
