I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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