ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
