I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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