I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
