My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
