Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
