Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
