You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
