My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
