WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
