i jhust puked up my retainher.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize