Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
