I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
