Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
