There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
