Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
