my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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