I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
