I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
