wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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