Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
