a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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