his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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