I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
