I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
