I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
