Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she woke up with a sticky ear
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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