I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
