let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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