I didn't shave. On purpose
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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