I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
that's an acceptable place to lick
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
