Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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