you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
