Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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