He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
