Just cropdusted the office
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
