Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
