I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
